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Militant Breastfeeding Cult

Two Babies, Two Stories

by Tessa

When I was pregnant with my first son, I knew I wanted to breastfeed more than anything. I was looking forward to giving my child the best he could possibly have. I heard so much about special bond between mother and child. I knew this was something I wanted to do for my baby. I had no idea what to expect.

When Cole Michael was born, he was happy, healthy, and ready to eat. I had him by C-section, and I hoped that it wouldn't be too painful to hold him close.

When Cole was about 5 days old, I had really bad pain in my stomach. I couldn't walk, move, eat, or anything. I called my Lactation Consultant, because Cole was having a hard time latching on. She came out, and I mentioned the pain to her. She took a look at my incision, and rushed me to the hospital. In the 10 minutes it took to get there, half my body was infected. They hospitalized me right away, and I was on so much medication that I had to stop breastfeeding. I decided to "pump-and-dump" to keep my supply going. My husband and mother had to feed Cole with formula from a bottle until I was able to get out of the hospital. That was about 6 weeks later.

Now, I had to teach this little one to latch on, all over again. It wasn't easy. I struggled through shields, nipple confusion, supply problems, cracked nipples, and a few other things. We were able to get through this with the help of my wonderful Lactation Consultant. Finally, Cole became an expert, and we were able to breastfeed successfully until 10 months. Had I known of nursing strikes then, I may have been able to continue. I tried for a week to get him to latch on again, but he just wouldn't have it. Cole self-weaned, which broke my heart.

Then I got pregnant again. This time I was determined to make breastfeeding work. Again, I had no idea what I was in for...

Conner James was born with kidney problems, and was in the NICU for about a month. Here I was again pumping, only this time, I was able to save it until he could eat.

When I finally got to latch him on, he took to it like a pro. The only problem was that he didn't have an appetite enough to keep him hydrated. He was not growing on his own, and was chronically dehydrated. This happened because his kidney's didn't know how to "process" urine. The doctors needed to know what he was taking in, so they asked me to switch to a bottle, for just a short time. I switched, but I gave him expressed milk. After just a few days of the bottle, it was getting harder and harder to get him latched on. Each day, I tried every time to get him to latch on, but he would only cooperate once every 2 or 3 days. It was very stressful and frustrating for us both.

I finally gave up the fight, and gave him expressed milk. He was also fed with a NG tube, in which he also got all Mamma's Milk. I became an expert at pumping, and had a wonderful supply this time.

Around 9 months, I was becoming exhausted trying to keep up with two babies, and pumping all the time. Not to mention all the extra attention Conner needed for medical reasons. I decided that I had done all I could, and I started weaning myself from the pump. I had enough supply to keep Conner on Mamma's Milk for a month after I stopped pumping. Though I still feel guilty every time I make him a bottle. It saddens me that I couldn't continue. Conner will now be on formula for the rest of his life, as his kidney's cannot handle "real" cows milk.

Well, I'm not giving up on the perfect breastfeeding experience yet. I have one more baby due in October 2001, and I really hope they mean it when they say "Third Times a Charm!"

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